I had planned to go to the cabin this weekend but last week Chris Powell came into my office and asked if he could borrow Mark this weekend. A good parent would have gotten some details but I said, “Sure, what do you need him for?” Chris said, “A human piñata”. Sounds reasonable to me.
Later I asked, why Mark was going to be beaten with sticks and I found out he was planning to have a Star Wars themed birthday party for his six year old and he needed someone for them to hit with lightsabers and he thought Mark could take the punishment and be Darth Vader.
Now that is some fine birthday planning folks. Not only is Chris putting on a good party but he has outsourced the pain to someone else. Of course it isn’t all good. We had a heated discussion at the office when we found out that Chris is not sending home party bags. Chris’ weak argument is that parents and even kids hate bags full of toys that are designed to break in the car ride home. If they do make it inside, parents just step on them and hurt themselves.
To that line of reasoning we say, “I want a guy with a parachute to throw down the stairs”. That and Mark is now available to be rented out for beatings at your own kids party.