Well this is my most difficult Christmas gift guide yet. My “friend” Jackie works across the hallway from me and she has been criticizing my Christmas Gift Guides all year long. Monday she asked me to come up with a list of things she wants for Christmas which is a) getting as lazy as it gets b) acting kind of like Wendy and my brother Lee who rely on my Amazon wish list to get me some gifts. Well here goes nothing…
- Final Draft Version 8 :: Well one thing I know about Jackie is that she is well above being functionally literate, and one day after Andrew Morton has written the story of my life, someone who actually knows me will want to exploit working with me. It may as well be Jackie and this is the software that will allow her to write the book, adapt the screenplay and produce the movie and a later mini-series. If I were her, I would get The Rock to play me and Halle Berry to play Wendy.
- While Jackie is at it, she may as well get a computer that is perfect for writing the story of my life on a new netbook from Futureshop.
- We all know that the movie of my life is going to be huge, possibly bigger than The Blind Side. Before Jackie can start shooting, she will need to scout out some locations. A Flip Video Camera is going to get the job done. Also it will allow her to move from just taking embarrassing photos of her husband to taking videos. Greg will be thrilled and possibly sue.
- I know the commute would be horrible but a membership at Paragraph would be a lot of fun.
- The Complete Collection of National Geographic :: Jackie, you know those awkward silences that you have when you are talking about stuff I no longer care about, a couple of well placed factoids from the National Geographic archives going back to 1888 would liven things up Think how many times you will be able to drop a factoid about Mayan maize farming in the 1400s over coffee. It will be great.
- Starbucks Gold Card :: To be honest, I thought this was a good idea but the rumor is that Starbucks is coming out with a new reward program so it’s time has past. Still, nothing says that I am a liberal elitist quite like a Starbucks Gold Card that really has no purpose than to say, “I’m more addicted to Starbucks than you are.” There’s value in that. Of course if you can’t get a superior Gold Card, there is always a superior Starbucks coffee mug.
- Fantasy Football for Dummies :: This isn’t so much for Jackie as it is for me. Our old accountant used to run a dozen fantasy football teams and being an accountant, he kept them on spreadsheets. People thought we were working when we were trying to decide whether or not to play T.O. that week. Good times.
- Well staying indoors all day long adding up numbers can’t be good for you and since we live in Saskatchewan where one can watch their dog run away for four days, a snowboard would be the perfect winter activity. While we don’t have a lot of hills around here and Blackstrap is closed, maybe you can get Greg to tow you behind the car. If that happens, I’ll hold the video camera.
- Ohto Tasche Fountain Pen :: The ingenious design of the Ohto Tasche allows one to carry it as a small compact pen when closed, but use it as a full sized fountain pen when open. This slim fountain pen measures 10.2 cm long when closed, 10 cm long when used by itself, and 14.7 cm when used with the cap on. Writes in nice, fine lines perfect for your accounting journals (what? it’s all done on computer now? doh!)
- Solid Wood Stapler :: Well you would know who took your stapler if it ever went missing.
Of course this list has only proven a couple of things a) the only thing that Jackie and I have in common is that we drink Starbucks coffee b) coming up for Christmas gifts for co-workers is really, really hard.