http://www.jordoncooper.com/2009/08/09/now-on-twitter/ A weblog about urbanism, technology, & culture. Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:54:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://www.jordoncooper.com/2009/08/09/now-on-twitter/comment-page-1/#comment-8005 Linda Hilderman Mon, 10 Aug 2009 23:32:41 +0000 http://www.jordoncooper.com/2009/08/09/now-on-twitter/#comment-8005 Hi Jordan. I just wanted to say that your sermon at Lakeview got me thinking again about how and where I can serve the disadvantaged. After 13 years of working as a Corrections Nurse and experiencing complete burn-out, ,I vowed I was done trying to help people who wanted me to care more than they did. Working in such a corrupt system did't help me see them as valued members of society. I have sufferred a lot of guilt and feelings of failure when the job did me in. One well-meaning person told me it was because I was trying in my own strength instead of God's. He must have seen me literally laying on the floor before I went to work begging for the strength for one more day. I have never really been able to put it all behind me. May I ask how you guard yourself from feelings of frustration, from giving up. How do you see hope where there is so little motivation for change? I developed a "We vs. Them" frame of reference as a self-preservation tool in prison. They wanted to hurt us, we wanted to save them. The system wanted to blame the staff for everything that malfunctioned. When an inmate came across my desk at me one day, my supervisor asked me what I had done to make him mad. I said "Nothing, he was mad when he got here." I feel like nothing I did counted for anything and I left feeling broken and abused. So much for the confession but I would like to know how you cope and maybe try to figure out how I could have done better or different. I know Jesus would do better. I could not. I feel deep shame when I even see one of the staff I worked with... especially those who knew I was a Christian. Hi Jordan. I just wanted to say that your sermon at Lakeview got me thinking again about how and where I can serve the disadvantaged.
After 13 years of working as a Corrections Nurse and experiencing complete burn-out, ,I vowed I was done trying to help people who wanted me to care more than they did. Working in such a corrupt system did’t help me see them as valued members of society. I have sufferred a lot of guilt and feelings of failure when the job did me in.
One well-meaning person told me it was because I was trying in my own strength instead of God’s. He must have seen me literally laying on the floor before I went to work begging for the strength for one more day. I have never really been able to put it all behind me.
May I ask how you guard yourself from feelings of frustration, from giving up. How do you see hope where there is so little motivation for change? I developed a “We vs. Them” frame of reference as a self-preservation tool in prison. They wanted to hurt us, we wanted to save them. The system wanted to blame the staff for everything that malfunctioned. When an inmate came across my desk at me one day, my supervisor asked me what I had done to make him mad. I said “Nothing, he was mad when he got here.” I feel like nothing I did counted for anything and I left feeling broken and abused.
So much for the confession but I would like to know how you cope and maybe try to figure out how I could have done better or different. I know Jesus would do better. I could not. I feel deep shame when I even see one of the staff I worked with… especially those who knew I was a Christian.

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