My name is Jordon and I need help
Driving home from Waskesiu yesterday, Wendy asked me what I was thinking and I couldn't tell her the truth. I was trying to name off all of the NFL's starting, backup, and third string quarterbacks of all 30 teams from memory. The scary thing is that not only did I name them, I also was running scenerios of what would happen if Daunte Cullpepper signed with different teams.
I may be a NFL-aholic. Of course it isn't my fault and I can quit at anytime but I blame the NFL Network. No person can handle that much NFL without being changed but here I am, absorbing hour after hour of Deion Sanders trying to be funny and wondering if an insightful thought will ever come from his mouth (not yet anyways).
Last night I actually came home, flipped through the channels and decided the best thing to watch was video footage of the Houston Texans mini-camp. For the love of Gary Kubiak, what was I thinking? Even the Houston Texans don't like the Houston Texans.
Other signs of NFL-aholism...
I may be a NFL-aholic. Of course it isn't my fault and I can quit at anytime but I blame the NFL Network. No person can handle that much NFL without being changed but here I am, absorbing hour after hour of Deion Sanders trying to be funny and wondering if an insightful thought will ever come from his mouth (not yet anyways).
Last night I actually came home, flipped through the channels and decided the best thing to watch was video footage of the Houston Texans mini-camp. For the love of Gary Kubiak, what was I thinking? Even the Houston Texans don't like the Houston Texans.
Other signs of NFL-aholism...
- I own two Rodney Peete Pro Set Rookie Cards
- I have fond memories of watching Steve DeBerg compete in the NFL Quarterback Challenge.
- I cried while watching America's Game and I am a Canadian.
- I keep my NFL "Duke" football on my night table.
- I named a previous dog of ours Elway.
- Many of my fondest memories involve Monday Night Football.
- I have the NFL Films sountrack on my iPod and I occasionally sneak it on Wendy's iPod.
- I consider the NFL Draft to be on the same par as Christmas, Easter, and my wedding anniversary in terms of holidays.
- I watched the Nebraska spring game this year.
I am a man screaming out for help and I have to deal with this... right after I watch the reply of the NFL Europa game of the week.
Labels: football, Lent/Easter, sports, Wendy Cooper
6:58 PM ::
16 Comments:
Ok, I would say you are not far off with your diagnosis....those are some pretty good signs of NFLism...
What's an NFL "Duke" football?
Some addictions are destructive (alcohol, drugs, etc) while others are beneficial (God, etc). Football definitely falls into the latter category. Thats why God invented the NFL Network.
Akma,
the "Duke" football is the official football of the NFL.
can you create some scenarios for vick? and what would happen if everyone in atlanta stormed his house and put him one of the rental trucks that we paid for?
Wow, impressive work on the QBs! Without cheating, I'll have to sit down tonight and think about whether or not I could come close to naming everyone's starter and backup.
Without the NFL Network, there is no way I could get through this horrendous part of the sports calendar, when the mainstream sports media bombards me with golf, tennis, and auto racing. Heck, my ten year old son came to me the other day, after the Stanley Cup playoffs were over, and said, "Dad, this time of year really sucks for sports." No kidding! I coach his Mosquito football team (11-12 year olds), and he now shares my addiction. He can now recite Mike Singletary saying, "you knew right there, in that huddle there was the group, destined to bring the kind of pressure that had not been seen before."
And no, I couldn't quit anytime I want to. If I told you I could, my long suffering wife would call me out on it. You just have to sit back and marvel at what an efficient marketing machine the NFL is!
Football makes me want to move to America
Josh, it all depends if some of the pit bulls bred for fighting are in his house, what secret compartments they find in his water bottle and if you are looking for Michael Vick or Ron Mexico?
AKMA, the Duke is the football put out by Wilson that is the nickname for the official NFL football.
I think the only way NFL football could get better would be to have Gary Bettman take over as Comish.
steve deberg!
Gary Bettman taking over at commish of the NFL would have ensured that the XFL would be the standard in professional football :-)
If Gary Bettman became Commissioner, tied games would be settled by QBs throwing the ball through a swinging tire.
Ah, nothing to do with my (currently hapless at football) alma mater.
Although another sign of NFL-aholism is that I have an Anthony Dilweg Pro-Set rookie card who played at Duke and was drafted in the third round by the Green Bay Packers before ending his career with the Raiders. His only claim to fame as a pro was that he bought a big banner lobbying Art Shell to let him play. Unfortunately for him, Shell did and he wasn't that good. He was pretty good at Duke...
Sadly he knew all of that off the top of his head.
Update -- I whiffed on the backups for about three teams, but was able to name both starters and backups for all the others. I was even able to name a few third stringers! (Hello, Casey Printers!)
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